Serious fashion advice

[dpatton75]

Hi guys!

It has been a few years since I have been here.

I am looking for fashion advice for a date with a serious woman.

I have been out of the dating market for years and now unfortunately I have to dive back in.

I wear suits and ties (Brooks Brothers and J. Press) to work or during the summers polo shirts (Brooks Brothers and Lacosta), otherwise I am mostly a jeans and t-shirt guy (Under Armour etc.) but for this date I need something special. This girl has a body that is easily 10/10. I will spare you the rest of the details but she is pretty classy whereas I am kind of an educated redneck.

I am 5 "9", average build, 45 years old.

Looking for advice on something stylish yet conservative.

I am not going to set a price limit yet until I entertain a few ideas.

Any help you guys could provide would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

 

[Phileas Fogg]

Are the two of you going out somewhere specific? Is this a first, second or third date or have you been dating a while?

 

[breakaway01]

Recommendations for outfits only make sense in a particular context. What you wear to Le Benardin in New York will be different from what you wear to a picnic and a stroll on the beach.

 

[dpatton75]

Recommendations for outfits only make sense in a particular context. What you wear to Le Benardin in New York will be different from what you wear to a picnic and a stroll on the beach.

This will actually be a 3rd date. The others have generally been outdoors type of things.

I am thinking to dress as if going to a nice formal dinner. Likely that is what we will do.

 

[dpatton75]

Are the two of you going out somewhere specific? Is this a first, second or third date or have you been dating a while?

I have been out of the dating/clothing realm for several years, had a kid, and all of that. Bottom line is, I am no longer in the loops as to what is trendy and stylish.

 

[breakaway01]

I have been out of the dating/clothing realm for several years, had a kid, and all of that. Bottom line is, I am no longer in the loops as to what is trendy and stylish.

The general advice here is to avoid trying to be too "trendy and stylish". At 45 (and I am about your age), I'd suggest more of a classic/conservative look. Personally, to a nice formal dinner I'd be thinking sportcoat + tie. It is critical that your clothes fit you well and complement each other. Feel free to post pictures here; people do try to be helpful. Nice shoes always help.

 

[Phileas Fogg]

I have been out of the dating/clothing realm for several years, had a kid, and all of that. Bottom line is, I am no longer in the loops as to what is trendy and stylish.

Don’t worry about trendy. You’re 49. Time for trendy is over.

stick to classic menswear but well made and properly fitted.

 

[dpatton75]

By trendy I just mean what is trending in men's fashion.

Any suggestions for a brand of sports coat and shirt? I don't have anything too fancy near me.

Any thoughts on a pair of trousers and a high-end oxford shirt without a tie?

 

[dieworkwear]

Tailored clothing is mostly about the fit and silhouette, so the "best" brands will depend on which clothes fit you best.

If you're on a budget (say, less than $1,000 for a sport coat), then try Spier & Mackay. If you have an average build, they have a fairly good model that works across a wide range of body types.

If you don't know your size, take a measuring tape and wrap it around your chest, just under your armpits. Leave about a finger's worth of space between your chest and the measuring tape. This is your chest size. Buy two sizes in a Spier & Mackay sport coat and see which one fits you best.

For a staring wardrobe, try getting a solid navy sport coat. This is something you can wear across a wide range of trousers and in different situations. It's an easy "grab and go" option.

For trousers, buy some in solid grey wool that suits your climate. Flannel is a popular option.

For shoes, wear brown leather shoes in a semi-informal, semi-dressy style, such as derbies or penny loafers.

For a shirt, get a solid white or solid light blue shirt. Or, if you want, something with white and light blue stripes. Most men don't really wear ties nowadays. I think it's fine to go without. You may want to wear a pocket square. I think it helps finish this look.

Once you have all these items, you will want to take them to a tailor for adjustments. Ready to wear clothes often need some adjustments here and there to make them look right.

Spier & Mackay will have all these things: the shirt, jacket, pants, etc. Once you get a sense of whether those clothes fit you, you can ask people here whether there are other brands for fuller or slimmer fits. It helps to have a baseline to discuss what fits you and what silhouettes you prefer.

It's easy to look like a schlub in this sort of outfit. It comes down to how well your clothes fit you. If you want feedback, you can put on the outfit and take some pics, then post them here. Try to get some distance between you and the mirror -- say six or seven feet -- and hold the camera at chest level. This gives the best representation of how you look in real life, as the camera can distort things.

Personally don't think there's anything wrong with someone in their 40s not dressing "conservatively." But if you're just starting out, conservative, classic men's style is an easy entry point since it's a language most people understand and it doesn't require you to have a specific identity. As you develop your wardrobe, however, I think it's good to keep an open mind and explore.

 

[breakaway01]

Personally don't think there's anything wrong with someone in their 40s not dressing "conservatively." But if you're just starting out, conservative, classic men's style is an easy entry point since it's a language most people understand and it doesn't require you to have a specific identity. As you develop your wardrobe, however, I think it's good to keep an open mind and explore.

For someone who is obviously relatively new to this, going on a date at a nice restaurant, conservative/classic is 100% the least risky recommendation. We've all seen examples of what happens when people start right off trying to be trendy without understanding the fundamentals. Of course people in their 40s don't have to dress conservatively all the time. I was responding to the specifics of the context.

 

[johnnymiz]

You already buy at JP and BB and know your sizes and how they fit, so just go there... head to the sportcoat section. They both have lots to chose from. Blue blazer, some kind of blue patteren (check or plaid), brown pattern, and grey pattern. Dont just wear the jacket from one of your suits, theyre constructed differently. Some solid grey and blue wool pants...you could possibly use the pants from a suit you own if they are plain. Some dress chinos....i know BB has those. White, blue, white/blue stripe shirts. Quality brown shoes with a nice shine. Belt that matches. Maybe the pocket square. Boom...done
Just make sure it is all tailored to fit. If youre wearing suits every day then you know what does and doesnt work and you probably have half of what you need in your closet. Youre way ahead of most people.

 

[dieworkwear]

For someone who is obviously relatively new to this, going on a date at a nice restaurant, conservative/classic is 100% the least risky recommendation. We've all seen examples of what happens when people start right off trying to be trendy without understanding the fundamentals. Of course people in their 40s don't have to dress conservatively all the time. I was responding to the specifics of the context.

my comment wasnt in response to you, but the comment above mine:

Don’t worry about trendy. You’re 49. Time for trendy is over.

stick to classic menswear but well made and properly fitted.

 

[dpatton75]

Is Spier & Mackay a brand considered to be particularly good quality/value?

I had never heard of them.

 

[dieworkwear]

Is Spier & Mackay a brand considered to be particularly good quality/value?

I had never heard of them.

They are basically an online forumite type of company that has distilled every StyleForum piece of knowledge into an affordable, Chinese-made garment. They have all the markers for SF approved silhouettes: soft shoulders, "Neapolitan" styling, slightly open quarters, etc. Mostly cut for the average office worker build that frequents this forum.

The quality meets the basic StyleForum standards. I believe they use both half and full canvas constructions. They also use respectable mills such as VBC. What you're mainly missing is the handwork. Instead of hand-picked stitching, they use an AMF machine. To the discerning eye, one can tell the difference and many prefer hand-picked stitching. But that sort of detail will be unnoticeable to anyone in real life and many are not willing to pay the four-figure sums that come with a genuinely handmade garment.

Similarly, the oxford button downs use plastic buttons instead of mother of pearl. But the shirts are also just $50 or so.

In terms of how the garment wears and last, they wear and last just fine. There will be some noticeable differences to clothing nerds. But they fit a surprisingly range of people very well and it's more important to pay attention to fit and silhouette.

If you already shop at J. Press and Brooks Brothers and prefer the fits and silhouettes there, you can post photos of your outfits here for feedback. It's hard to say what fits you and what you should go for without seeing fit pics. But as a general recommendation, my starting point is usually Spier & Mackay because of the price point and likelihood that the garment will fit according to SF taste.

 

[dpatton75]

I have a pair of tailored Hugo Boss dark grey trousers bought from Saks a few years ago. They have been worn very little. I wore them for a T.V. commercial a couple of months ago.

What is the opinion on Hugo Boss look/quality? From my limited experience it is good.

I know that there is a guy in NYC that does hand tailoring and builds from kits. He says that he can usually tell measurements by looking at someone on camera. His prices were pretty reasonable too. I don't recall the name but I could find it.

I am wondering if he could work up something by Hugo Boss (blazer and shirt), or another Italian brand.

Any opinions on this approach?