Matt
ex-m@Triate
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2005
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Not to mention your own name would be **** if you're in a related field.
^this
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Not to mention your own name would be **** if you're in a related field.
I won't give a reference to anyone unless they have spoken to me beforehand about it. It's a trick bag full of snakes that can bite you in many different ways if it's not discussed. I've told some friends/associates that asked me to give them a good reference that I could not do so in good faith. When asked why I would tell them. Did they like it? No. Did they appreciate the honesty? Yes. Still friends or associates? Yes. In any case a true friend tells it like it is. Lying for a friend is dishonesty in one of it's most insidious of forms and by doing so you dishonor your friend, your friendship and yourself. And for all those that think it ends once you recommend someone you are dead wrong. All I can say is go around the block a few times and you'll know what I mean.
Just to play devil's advocate, is writing a reference for a friend that highlights their strong points or spins things in a positive way and glosses over/ignores the negative different from highlighting your own strong points and glossing over the negative in a job interview? If you were being interviewed, would you say "I'm not always on time, I can be unreliable, I need pretty constant supervision to stay on task, etc."? I just wonder if highlighting the positive and underplaying or ignoring the negative in a recommendation for a friend to get a job is ethically any different than doing the same thing to get yourself a job.
Yes, it's different. It's for the very reason the people aren't honest about themselves that potential employers ask for references. If everybody were honest, references would be completely unnecessary.
Does that make it ethically different though? One is lying for your own benefit, and one is lying for your friend's benefit.
Does that make it ethically different though? One is lying for your own benefit, and one is lying for your friend's benefit.
In addition to the shortcomings that the OP listed, the friend is also very lousy at picking friends.
And LOL at people who think their positive recommendation will have any consequences for them should the employment not pan out (except in a few very specific lines of work).
This:
she was his buddy. They studied Spanish together in Spain before moving back to Asia.