Cap in a fine restaurant

[topcatny]

I believe I may have started the slap issue.

My original comment was meant to be nothing more than a modest attempt at humor via sarcasm.

I respectfully wish to change my slap to a mean snarl or hip sneer at the offending hat wearer.

Nuff said.

cuffthis you indeed started the slap comment although I did take it as sarcasm. linux_pro took it a bit further and I assume his was in jest as well, although that seemed less clear from his post.

In jerrysfriend's defense he never suggested anybody be slapped.

 

[Brian SD]

Brian,

I agree with most of your comments, but I think restaurants who chose to have a dress code do so to maintain a certain ambiance, which I have no problem with. However, if it isn't stated, then you have no cause for complaint in this situation. If it IS stated, but not enforced, then you have cause to bring it up with the management.

True, it's up to the restaurant to decide this. I can understand if they want to "protect" an image that ultimately gets them more business, just like Louis Vuitton has a right to put a maximum number of items purchased to protect their [false?] image of exclusivity.

 

[uppercase]

Yes, the slap is girly.
Machine gun him.

 

[FIHTies]

Yes, the slap is girly.
Machine gun him.

Finally a man speaking sense...

 

[jerrysfriend]

I only said that did not have the clout to complain to the other diner (and did not even consider any conduct which would have led to unpleasantness). I only said the cap LESSENED the pleasure of the evening for me and took away SOME of the grandness I was hoping for. I only asked if I should have complained to the manager before or after the man left about the restaurant not having a proper dress code and thereby damaging the evening for some customers.
I did not suggest becoming violent or claim that my dining experience was TOTALLY ruined; it was lessened in quality.
I concur with the other posts about loud talking, cell phone use, cursing, or similiar behavior at the next table being worse than slovenly dressing, however, I cannot believe the comments that nearby very inappropiately dresssed diners should not affect one's own dining experience.
Would it not make ANY difference to most people, if they were spending $200 or more for dinner at an allegedly elegant place, and the people at the nearby tables were dressed like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers in "Top Hat" vs. being dressed in tank tops, shorts, flip-flops, and baseball caps, etc?

 

[Wedge]

Jerrysfriend, if I am going out to a nice place I hope that everyone is dressed nice because it makes the experience that much more enjoyable. The only reason I didn't turn around at the place I went was the hour drive I took to get there...and I still took my hat off and was happy to sit in the corner out of view. I still think that you should have said something to the manager, but after the meal.

 

[topcatny]

I only said that did not have the clout to complain to the other diner (and did not even consider any conduct which would have led to unpleasantness). I only said the cap LESSENED the pleasure of the evening for me and took away SOME of the grandness I was hoping for. I only asked if I should have complained to the manager before or after the man left about the restaurant not having a proper dress code and thereby damaging the evening for some customers.
I did not suggest becoming violent or claim that my dining experience was TOTALLY ruined; it was lessened in quality.
I concur with the other posts about loud talking, cell phone use, cursing, or similiar behavior at the next table being worse than slovenly dressing, however, I cannot believe the comments that nearby very inappropiately dresssed diners should not affect one's own dining experience.
Would it not make ANY difference to most people, if they were spending $200 or more for dinner at an allegedly elegant place, and the people at the nearby tables were dressed like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers in "Top Hat" vs. being dressed in tank tops, shorts, flip-flops, and baseball caps, etc?

Personally, It would have affected me for about 30 seconds. After that I would have ignored the offending party and continued enjoying my meal. I would have instead focused on my dinner companion and noticed and appreciated the other appropriately dressed customers and the wonderful food and wine. If it is something you feel strongly about, (and you obviously do) then I would have asked to speak to the manager after the meal and let him know your thoughts on the matter. Just because it doesn't bother me doesn't mean you shouldn't let the manager know how you feel. If they received enough comments maybe they would change their poilcy. Maybe not, but at least you would have your voice heard.

 

[drizzt3117]

Quote:

(jerrysfriend @ Mar. 10 2005,14:52) I only said that did not have the clout to complain to the other diner (and did not even consider any conduct which would have led to unpleasantness). I only said the cap LESSENED the pleasure of the evening for me and took away SOME of the grandness I was hoping for. I only asked if I should have complained to the manager before or after the man left about the restaurant not having a proper dress code and thereby damaging the evening for some customers. I did not suggest becoming violent or claim that my dining experience was TOTALLY ruined; it was lessened in quality. I concur with the other posts about loud talking, cell phone use, cursing, or similiar behavior at the next table being worse than slovenly dressing, however, I cannot believe the comments that nearby very inappropiately dresssed diners should not affect one's own dining experience. Would it not make ANY difference to most people, if they were spending $200 or more for dinner at an allegedly elegant place, and the people at the nearby tables were dressed like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers in "Top Hat" vs. being dressed in tank tops, shorts, flip-flops, and baseball caps, etc?

Personally, It would have affected me for about 30 seconds. After that I would have ignored the offending party and continued enjoying my meal. I would have instead focused on my dinner companion and noticed and appreciated the other appropriately dressed customers and the wonderful food and wine. If it is something you feel strongly about, (and you obviously do) then I would have asked to speak to the manager after the meal and let him know your thoughts on the matter. Just because it doesn't bother me doesn't mean you shouldn't let the manager know how you feel. If they received enough comments maybe they would change their poilcy. Maybe not, but at least you would have your voice heard.

I was going to post, but tc just succinctly said everything I was going to say.

 

[alchimiste]

Yes, the slap is girly.
Machine gun him.

A slap is meant as an insult, not as physical harm. If you wear gloves use your glove to do this.

 

[drizzt3117]

Quote:

(uppercase @ Mar. 11 2005,05:32) Yes, the slap is girly. Machine gun him.
A slap is meant as an insult, not as physical harm. If you wear gloves use your glove to do this.
Obviously you've never watched Jerry Springer.

 

[linux_pro]

I only said that did not have the clout to complain to the other diner (and did not even consider any conduct which would have led to unpleasantness). I only said the cap LESSENED the pleasure of the evening for me and took away SOME of the grandness I was hoping for. I only asked if I should have complained to the manager before or after the man left about the restaurant not having a proper dress code and thereby damaging the evening for some customers.
I did not suggest becoming violent or claim that my dining experience was TOTALLY ruined; it was lessened in quality.
I concur with the other posts about loud talking, cell phone use, cursing, or similiar behavior at the next table being worse than slovenly dressing, however, I cannot believe the comments that nearby very inappropiately dresssed diners should not affect one's own dining experience.
Would it not make ANY difference to most people, if they were spending $200 or more for dinner at an allegedly elegant place, and the people at the nearby tables were dressed like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers in "Top Hat" vs. being dressed in tank tops, shorts, flip-flops, and baseball caps, etc?

Excellent post and good points.

The very nature of a fine restaurant is one which promotes an "exclusive" experience. They're not just charging you $80 for a filet mignon because it's "the best." You're paying for ambience. Something special, something extraordinary. And for many people, it is an extravagance, not an everyday experience.

When I make reservations at a quality restaurant, I expect a quality experience. If I wanted to eat dinner surrounded by slobs in tank-tops and baseball caps, I would go to some fast-food place or The Olive Garden. When I am paying over $200 for dinner, I don't want to sit next to some guy wearing a cap, period. I would definitely consider that a joy-kill.

Of course, that's one major reason why I have a membership at a private club. When I wish to have a nice evening with my girlfriend, I know that we can dine there without worry of swearing, cell phones, hats, etc. (Coats and hats are checked at the entry). The dress code is enforced strictly, and phones are not allowed in the dining area. Improper conduct can lead to loss of membership (and forfeiture of dues).

 

[jerrysfriend]

Quote:

Originally Posted by alchimiste,Mar. 10 2005,17:43

Originally Posted by uppercase,Mar. 11 2005,05:32

Yes, the slap is girly. Machine gun him.
A slap is meant as an insult, not as physical harm. If you wear gloves use your glove to do this.
Obviously you've never watched Jerry Springer.
Coincidence. Jerry Springer and I were college fraternity brothers at Tulane in the early 1960's. That's why I use the tag, "Jerrysfriend."

 

[JBZ]

Yes, the slap is girly.
Machine gun him.

(To the restaurant manager): "Excuse me, but while we all appreciate the death of that hat-wearing buffoon, the noise from the machine gun of the gentleman who shot him really hindered our dining experience. I wonder if you could prevail upon him to utilize a silencer in the event of future need to 'remedy' any dress code offenders. Thank you, it was a lovely meal."

As an aside, my wife and I spent our honeymoon in Hawaii. Most of the restaurants had a casual dress code (from beachfront hamburger stands all the way up to the Ritz). However, there was one restaurant that we knew ahead of time we wanted to go to, and it specifically required jacket and tie. Thus, we each brought a nice outfit with us specifically to eat at this restaurant.

During our meal, there were two other couples who were roughly our age (early thirties). In one case, I think the man made it through his appetizer before he had to take off his jacket, roll up his sleeves, and loosen his tie. In the second case, the guy made it all the way through dinner in his jacket and tie. I was suitably impressed until he stood up to reveal cargo pants and Tevas. My wife and I found this amusing more than anything, and had a nice conversation about how men don't seem to know (or care) how to dress appropriately anymore.

Jeff

 

[Tyto]

As an aside, my wife and I spent our honeymoon in Hawaii.  Most of the restaurants had a casual dress code (from beachfront hamburger stands all the way up to the Ritz).  However, there was one restaurant that we knew ahead of time we wanted to go to, and it specifically required jacket and tie.  Thus, we each brought a nice outfit with us specifically to eat at this restaurant.

During our meal, there were two other couples who were roughly our age (early thirties).  In one case, I think the man made it through his appetizer before he had to take off his jacket, roll up his sleeves, and loosen his tie.  In the second case, the guy made it all the way through dinner in his jacket and tie.  I was suitably impressed until he stood up to reveal cargo pants and Tevas.  My wife and I found this amusing more than anything, and had a nice conversation about how men don't seem to know (or care) how to dress appropriately anymore.

Jeff

It's partly that, but also that mainland rules in Hawaii simply don't seem to apply--aloha shirts really can be business attire there.

My wife and I also honeymooned in Hawaii, and also packed one outfit each for the two places that seemed to have mainland dress codes. I wound up needing to lose my tie partway through the meal (discreetly, in the restroom), but we observed dress among other patrons almost exactly as you describe, and it amused us, too.

 

[Horace]

Quote:

Yes, the slap is girly. Machine gun him.
(To the restaurant manager): "Excuse me, but while we all appreciate the death of that hat-wearing buffoon, the noise from the machine gun of the gentleman who shot him really hindered our dining experience. Â I wonder if you could prevail upon him to utilize a silencer in the event of future need to 'remedy' any dress code offenders. Â Thank you, it was a lovely meal." As an aside, my wife and I spent our honeymoon in Hawaii. Â Most of the restaurants had a casual dress code (from beachfront hamburger stands all the way up to the Ritz). Â However, there was one restaurant that we knew ahead of time we wanted to go to, and it specifically required jacket and tie. Â Thus, we each brought a nice outfit with us specifically to eat at this restaurant. During our meal, there were two other couples who were roughly our age (early thirties). Â In one case, I think the man made it through his appetizer before he had to take off his jacket, roll up his sleeves, and loosen his tie. Â In the second case, the guy made it all the way through dinner in his jacket and tie. Â I was suitably impressed until he stood up to reveal cargo pants and Tevas. Â My wife and I found this amusing more than anything, and had a nice conversation about how men don't seem to know (or care) how to dress appropriately anymore. Jeff
What was the name of the restaurant? Michael's at the Colony Surf hotel, right? There used to be several resto's in Honolulu that had coat and tie policies.